just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
well most of my day revolves around power hour
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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