I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
