My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
