You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
