I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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