paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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