i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
