i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
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