This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
