I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
This is my life. Enjoy the view
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
