found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
stop calling my apartment porn island.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
