Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
