My balls are so social today.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
