Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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