he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize