I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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