My sheets look like a crime scene.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
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I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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