Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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