Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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