So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
