He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
