You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
