was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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