i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
