He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
