I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Hippo gnu deer
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
you had me at cake vodka
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
