yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Randomize
