I would go down on you faster than GM stock
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
i think i just lost a toe
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
