I accidentally had phone sex last night
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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