So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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