good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
