exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
