DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
