you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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