is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
