yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
