I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
