i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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