girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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