sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
