Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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