you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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