i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
