I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Randomize
