Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
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