What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
