You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize