you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
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Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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