Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
