He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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