I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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