Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Randomize
