roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
