With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
