Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
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You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
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