Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
