I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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