I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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