we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
