how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
