they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
