I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
