Im at strip club and am horny
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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