every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
