just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
