You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
How naked do you want me to be?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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