I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
