Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
