let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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